Your spouse is not your enemy.

Every Marriage is either moving toward oneness or drifting toward complete isolation.

When we are married to another person after a while the relationship of complete oneness with that other person gets difficult and what was wedding bliss might turn in to unhappiness and unfairness and we look at the other person in our life as an enemy but they are not. The real enemy is we.

The world put marriage as a 50/50 relationship performance. We accept another person based on this performance of “ You do your part and I’ll do mine.”
After a while 50/50 then turns out to be 30/40, 20/10 or 0/0 sometimes someone wins or both couple losses. We depend on the responsibility of our marriage is based sole on the other person and how they do there part.

Selfish desires and the Self-Contends turn our seeming joyful experience of oneness into hardship and trouble.

I went to a Seminar put on by family life today that stress how the devils goal is to turn husband, wife’s and family members against each other to create confusion and destruction in the there lives.

We have unreal expectations of marriage we tend to look at the weaknesses in our spouse in the relationship and focus on those things that disappoint us about the other person. We might seek revenge for past pain we also feel that the other person hasn’t held up to there bargain in a relationship.

These things lead to difficulties in the marriage or relationship. Instead we as human fail to too at problems and difficulty that might arise in a relationship a tend to not know how to respond. The response to difficult times can either drive the relationship or together. To suppress or escape from the problem is common and to blame and attack each other is usually done.

Moving thought these times without rejecting or withdrawing from oneness with a spouse is important in keeping a relationship going.

Isolation is the devils goal. The Me Me me factor comes into play and we try to change others to show them how much they should be like us. We all are different in our own ways but when the goal is to be in harmony with each other, the turmoil’s of ME ME ME comes into place.

What we adapt to be a life that leads us to destruction I have seen this type of life style in my spouse that made me look at life from a different point of view. When I was married I began to see a continued life of the person I was with began to change to the worst. The person I married was not my enemy but the evil with in her was. When you marry a person you marry them for enormous amount of reason I would not go into. But I married my wife because not what God wanted for me but what I wanted for myself.

I never thought that the evil of life would put me where I am today. What I have learned from the experience is that making choices in life is based on self-sacrifice based on the ability to have a covenant relationship with another. Making a relationship works takes to parts the giving and taking. The knowledge of you mate is important in knowing how to love and be loved. Take time to know the person that you are with. Don’t make that person your enemy.